Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I've Been Rejected!! Yesssss!!!

Yes! Yes! Yes! I'm elated! I am elated that I have been rejected- rejected by a literary agent right here in D.C. OMG! OMG! OMG!
I submitted a query letter (a letter giving a summary of the book- full of catchy, suspenseful, action-packed jargon; type of thing you'd find on the back of a novel) to a few agencies so far and one, yes-the glorious first, has sent me a rejection email that I opened right as I was in the middle of a get-together with good friends, good food, and great drinks.
It was on a Friday night- Friday the 13th to be exact. I was sitting with the crew laughing it up, checked my Blackberry, and stumbled upon a message sent to me by a literary agent that I was really eager to work with. As I opened the message and read the few sentences she provided, I heard someone in the background, "Ahhhh Sammi, we're just messing with you?" Confused but focused I kept reading. Then a friend hugged me and said she was just playing. I looked at the people in the room like what the heck are ya'll talking about. Apparently as I was thumbing through my phone, I was the butt of some joke or something was said about me that was funny. Normally I'd laugh, and I probably would have been cracking up if I was paying attention. But I wasn't. I assumed the crew noticed my kind of solemn expression and thought it was the joke. No, not at all. I was stuck. I didn't know whether to be happy or sad cus I totally got rejected...Wow!! But yay, because for me, that means somebody read my query, somebody thought about it, and somebody took the time to tell me as she put it: There is too much on my plate right now.
Plus, plus, plus, it officially means for me that I'm really in the publishing process. It's happening. And that makes me happy!!! I got rejected!! Yesssssss!!! Is there a rejection dance? If not, I'll make one up :-)



Thursday, August 5, 2010

Are We Ever Satisfied?

The great news is I'm moving up in my publishing career, as far as my 9-5 is concerned. I got the coveted (for a year and a half) promotion!! Yay!! So why when I got the offer letter at the end of last week did I want to cry? The raise looked great; it wasn't that. It was the fact that I had not only prayed for more money, I had prayed that God would remove me from that place all together. Not that I dislike it that much, but I just felt, and had been feeling for a long time, that it was time to go. And my family and friends can vouch for me, I tried my hardest for over a year to leave, went on countless interviews, have an actual excel spreadsheet of the 30+ jobs that I applied for, and even developed and kept over 20 different resumes and cover letters to match the specifications of each job I had applied for.
Well, back to last week. I signed the offer letter, I took a walk and immediately call one of my besties asking her what the heck is wrong with me. Why am I so ungrateful? Am I being ungrateful? Are we ever satisfied? Should I ever be satisfied because if I am, will I even continue to strive for more like Jabez in Corinthians who asked God to enlarge his territory? I just didn't get it. What was wrong with me? Was there anything wrong with me? What was up with my melancholy mood?
Bestie understood where I was coming from and reminded me that there is a balance. While I should be grateful about the blessing of finances, responsibility, and a resume booster, I should also continue to strive high. Do both.
A few days later, I called one of my professors and told him the good news. He's a mentor and is also a reference on my resume. After telling him that I didn't get one of the recent jobs I had applied for but I did get this promotion, he asked why I sounded so sad. It's days later and I'm still naturally in a funk. Of course deep down inside I really felt like an ungrateful brat. I told him that after all that work, all those interviews, my goal was never to move up in my current company, it was to leave all together. And I also let him know that I honestly didn't mean to sound that way or at least I didn't mean for him to hear me sound that way.
He reminded me that despite my best efforts, I cannot control everything. There we go with my control issues...He continued and told me that obviously God has a plan for me and my life and it wasn't for me to be where I'm not. He said one of the hardest things for people to do is get out of their own way, the way that God paved for them. So he told me to step aside and again be grateful. And just like my bff said, still strive to go further, but don't forget that I have a great opportunity right here and right now.
I'm a good listener...working, and I mean really working, on the doing. I'm really blessed not only for this new opportunity to learn and grow, but for the love and support by my family, friends, and mentors. :-)