Monday, May 2, 2011
I’ve never been the type to dislike girls just because they’re girls. And actually it would make my skin crawl to hear another woman say she couldn’t stand women and would rather hang out with men. I love hanging out with the guys, but I need a healthy balance and will run to get my estrogen fix at some point. That’s just how I’m wired- Female Power to the Fullest!! I need my solitude and lots of it, I need my guys so I can laugh, take notes, and laugh some more, and then I need my girls because they can understand me, give me good or not so great advice, and challenge me to be my best and have the best.
I remember one of my girls said in front of everyone, “I think you should be with [this guy] because he’ll treat you like a queen and you deserve that…He’s like the William to your Joan.*” And while she had a point and I believed it, I just wasn’t interested in him and wasn’t gonna fake it for excellent treatment. But in that statement of hers, I felt her love. I knew that she had felt a recent struggle of mine and wanted the absolute best for me. That’s why I love my girlfriends. While you think you’re just telling them a story, the happenings, they are walking with you, arguing with you, albeit being disrespected, neglected, and mistreated right along with you.
One night I shared a friendly letter with one of my girlfriends that I had written to a close guy friend of mine. It was a heartfelt two-pager (this is how I am, rarely) chronicling our time knowing each other, the ups, the downs, and how we’re totally winning because we’re still friends. After reading the P.S., I look up to see my good girlfriend wiping her tears. I burst into laughter! “Are you crying??” I asked. She nodded yes. I “teared” up a little bit myself, because at this point I knew it was okay to let out the tears I had been holding back but also because I felt not only her love, but her understanding. She had rode with me through that whole rocky roller coaster of lust, love, 2 days of hate, a long period of extreme dislike, amazing forgiveness (ooooh Jesus), and then genuine friendship. She felt my closure in that letter and I more than appreciated that.
Another one of my girls I can call, give her my dilemma, and she 99.9% of the time says the right things. It usually goes like this, “Did you hear yourself? You just worked out your own problem,” or “What does Samantha want to do? Why do you care what anybody thinks about it? Girl, bye!” She’s the friend that always indirectly reminds me that the answer lies within. I sooooo appreciate that and need that reminder.
I have a million more stories and not enough space. But I just wanted to share how much my girls mean to me. Women supporting women is a beautiful thing. Even if there’s occasional beef, and it happens, and I hold grudges for a length of time, at the end of it all and what keeps me happy in these relationships is the constant realization that we’re human, we make mistakes, and friendship and communication are two-way streets. God blessed me with very human and yet extremely wonderful, fun, crazy, beautiful, loving GIRLFRIENDS!!!!!! I need them as much as they need me.
*Reference to the "Girlfriends" sitcom. How appropriate... ;-)