When starting Three Years to 30, the last thing I considered was the occurrence of death during that time. Well, today, my awesome Granny Baby is on my mind, as she transitioned a year ago today. I miss her dearly.
Dedicating my day to her, and honoring her in my silence. Be blessed, everyone.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Can I be honest? Ok, thanks! So, for years, my good girl friend told me I was tripping...dead wrong...misguided...confused- all of that- for thinking I couldn't accomplish my dreams and goals with a boyfriend/man/fiance/husband. I used to say, "When I knock a few goals off my list, I'll settle down." She thought that was asinine, and constantly tried to tell me that I should consider doing both- having the love I desire and succeeding in career/life. I didn't believe I could! Why?! Because when I tried, as much as I was encouraged and "supported" by my partner, I was extremely distracted. I was either in La La Land or in Pissed Off/You're About to Get Told Off World. Yeah, :-) that pretty much sums it up.
Anyway, yet and still, living life alone, that's kinda blah. It can be boring, unfulfilling. Having someone to ride this roller coaster can be fun :-) The more I grew, the more I had to think, "Well, Sam. You're going to have to learn how to balance relationship and career because a Forever Single, you are not." <---Honest thought.
It was just recently that I called my good girl friend up and I told her, I can do this. I now know that I can do this. Why now? Because after so many times going around the block of love, I learned encouragement and support has levels. You can have someone who gives some encouragement and says they support you, but when you need time to focus on your craft-that alone creative time, you get crap for it. Or you can have someone who tells you to fly, do your thing and shows you in their actions and in the way they respond to you that they are okay with who you are, the talent you have, and the investment needed to nurture your calling.
It is the DIFFERENCE between someone saying they accept all of you but really just trying to AND someone who not only actually accepts you, but gets a kick out of who you are. Like, as if being who you are brightens up their life, thrills them, and vice versa!
Sure it's rough, reaching your goals with a partner who pushes you to succeed but then ridicules you because of the energy and time it takes. But a positive partner, who is accepting, understanding, helpful- that's a partner who can accompany me on the ride of life- goals and all.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Back from vacation:
Still following my bliss and noticing that "OMG...things, wonderful things are happening with little effort from me." That was actually one of the mantras from Deepak Chopra's 21-day meditation challenge, which I've completed. I'm so thankful for "The Untethered Soul" and the meditation. I was really able to observe the happenings in my life and be grateful for everything, good, bad, annoying.
I hope that wherever you are, and however you decide to acquire it, that you find a peace that keeps you still, grateful and joyful.