Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Every Woman Needs A Male Best Friend

Honestly I don't know who or where I'd be without my MBFF. He's known me since I was 21. Met me and my girls on South Beach, invited me to a party with The Roots performing under the night sky, and rapped me up for hours while we were surrounded by graffiti artists spraying white walls with neon/glow-in-the-dark paint. I'll never forget it.

We talked that night as if we had known each other all of our lives. I had a great time that Spring Break with my girls but he put the spark in it, made it extra special. My MBFF became a fixture in my life, always caring, always motivating, pushing me career-wise, coaching me to do the unthinkable/non-typical, always checking for and on me.

P.S. I'm absolutely not talking about friends with benefits...not that anything's really wrong with that if that's what you choose. Not this article though...

Why is the MBFF necessary?

1. He knows you. Years in the making, he knows what to do and say when you're in a stank mood. You two share inside jokes that will have you busting out laughing even when you're not feeling up to it. You can ask him, "Hey, am I being stupid, crazy, irrational?" And you can count on him to tell you "YES!!!" if that's in fact the truth, rather than someone telling you what they think you want to hear.

2. Dating advice. Yes, he can translate man talk. Better yet, he can stop you from over-analyzing men with these simple words, "Men are simple. It's you women that make it more complicated than it is. Just chill. Do you." I've heard those words over and over again. And what's great about my MBFF is that he doesn't have a problem repeating this to me, as I tend to forget when I'm entering into and exiting out of situations.

3. You can eavesdrop on his love life. It's nice to be on the other side for a change, hear things from a man's perspective about other women. Makes you change up a bit and make your thing (who you are and how you are) much more attractive. Many times, I've found myself comparing myself-and not in any insecure way-to the women in his life. You get to say, "Ooooh, I would never do that. She's wack for that!!" or "Wow, okay, I like how she did that."

4. You know you're in safe hands. After being besties for so long, you develop trust in your MBFF, which is probably more than you can say for those who have come and gone. After trials, triumphs and tests of your genuine love for each other, you know that he has your back and he'll hold you down, and you would do the same for him. You have history, you know each others' stories, you have a forever thing versus a temporary connection.

5. Acceptance. Everyone wants to be liked/loved for who they are, right? Years of friendship has made the both of you reveal yourselves, and though it was not always a pretty picture or you did not portray the most pleasant facets of your personalities, you knew that you were only human and the truth is people change through time and after certain life events. Flaws and all, you stick it out with each other and then he says that when you marry whomever he approves, he's showing up at your wedding dressed down but very handsomely in an Adidas jumpsuit and shelltoes. <----Okay, that's just my MBFF. LOL!!! But the point is the MBFF stands by you and your choices (even after some debate) and accepts you for you. That's a good feeling.




  1. Excellent commentary on the MBFF. I am so happy that you made the distinction that a MBFF is NOT a friend with benefits. To truly be a MBFF, that man has got to love you for you with no "we might get together in the future" agenda. With that said, so must the women who have these male PLATONIC friends. Thanks for the insight Sam!

  2. This is my first time visiting your blog. I have enjoyed your writing. Keep up the great work!

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  4. Greetings Samantha,

    I love your post! I agree wholeheartedly! I absolutely love my MBFF! He is my strongest support system, my number one cheerleader even when I fall on my face, lol! And I strive to be that for him!

    Thank you and Peace,

  5. Ohhh! Thank you!! I'm glad you all like it. I have more coming! :-)