Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Finding My Joy

So for all who know me, you know that in the past three months I’ve experienced many losses, Grandparents and sister. I thought that the initial loss was tough… Nope it’s the after effects that are really rough, the things you have to get in order that others just don’t understand, the strong person you have to be because your family needs that, the getting up to go to work when you want to just…not, the elevated intense pain and empathy you feel when another loved one is going through a hard time.

I’ve celebrated a book release, I even had a party (that I’d wished my sister was there to attend- she happened to be number one on my guest list when I was planning it, unbeknownst of what was to come), I’ve hung out, I’ve dated, I’ve had a ball, but in between all of that, I’ve been grieving, sometimes silently, other times not so silently, but always privately.

What I know is that it’s necessary to balance. Joy has to be found somewhere, somehow.

  • Soooooo I put a hold on writing book number #2, which was going to be way more serious and quite darker than the first. I’ve started on book #3, lighter, more fun. I need that right now. 
  • I’m wearing my hair curly, in it’s natural state. I forgot how pretty it is, and perfect for the warmer weather coming soon. 
  • Yesterday, I bought a bright aqua blue, long sundress. It reminds me relaxing times, the sun, cool breezes and iced fruit smoothies…

Annnnnnnd I’m going to L.A….for a visit- for starters ;-)

The End :-)



What’s your joy? What makes you feel great?

Monday, March 12, 2012

Saturday, March 3, 2012

This is New

This was weird. Never in my life did I think I'd sit and watch the movie Video Girl that keeps playing over and over again on BET. Judging by the title, I thought it to be lame, stereotypical, low low low budget and unrelateable (side note: Why isn't unrelateable a word? I think it should be.) Anywho, this weekend I decided too much going out just can't happen. I've yet to really settle into the fact that this is now my life...I'm minus a physically present sister...

So watching this movie, and the main character Lorie, played by Meagan Good, loses her sister played by her real sister, to gun violence. Of course I boo-hooed. This was her older, super pretty, fly, majorly encouraging sister who pushed Lorie to pursue her dreams. Who does that sound like? Of course, my big sis.

Lorie's character would dream about her sister and talk to her. I thought that was cool. I've only had nightmares where I was in a mess and my sister couldn't save me. That sucks.

What I liked about this movie, though, was that no matter what Lorie got herself into, her sister would always be there and her sister could always see her and advise her in the spiritual form. That's how I have to think of my sister.

I'm making major plans for the near future actually and I've only run them past God and Michel. She's egging me on, I can tell. I promised I'd bring her with me every step of the way.

Sisters are treasures and that bond is like no other. Hug and love your siblings because you just never know.

Who would've ever thought I'd be writing this in my Three Years to 30 Blog?! Never in a million years. But a lot has occurred in the 2 years that I've been writing this so far. Life...full of surprises and I'm learning to "Be Like Water."